The Penny Book: Making Meaning and Living Life

Each chapter of the still-in-process Penny Book starts with a message or lesson. I don’t think I’d spoil her memoir by sharing those lessons ahead of time, so here goes.

In the opening chapter, the introduction, Penny is talking with us after her death. She wants us to know that, while she was with us humans, she learned some things. She’s decided to share that wisdom with us - hoping we can benefit – and her first lesson is about wisdom itself. She tells us this: Share Your Wisdom.

In later chapters, Penny relates anecdotes about her life, then wraps each story up with a short statement of what she learned. The moral of the story, perhaps.

Of course, Penny isn’t really writing the chapters. At times, though, it does feel like she is speaking either to me or through me…and I’d like to think that’s true. Unfortunately, as far as we know, dogs aren’t capable of the critical thought needed to derive meaning from an experience. So of course, the book is really about what I learned from Penny the dog…and that’s okay with me!

As I type those words, I realize a major difference between the life lessons I derived from Penny’s life and those I learned from my own. If I think about the stories and experiences recalled in Wreckage, I can see how we (as a family) mostly took negative, unhelpful lessons from our traumatic experiences. We brought those learnings forward to integrate and release as best we can, and with a lot of work.

When speaking for Penny, though, it seems I find the positive even in the most challenging circumstances. Here are some examples:

• Penny and both of my parents ultimately died of congestive heart failure. The lesson I took from my parents was “Our family is unhealthy.” From Penny, I learned “Keep living life!”

  
  

• Trauma early in life taught me to be stingy with my trust. Penny, in contrast, learned to trust expansively…over time.

  
  

• With her many physical ailments, Penny discovered how to ask for (and receive) help. I, instead, learned not to express vulnerability and ask for support, regardless of how much I needed it.

Why is living life so different?

Yes, I was young and impressionable when taking in lessons from my parents and early life. Viewing Penny's life through the lens of adulthood, with the perks of perspective and a greater sense of control, allows me to see more of the good. I can look at her experiences and see positive lessons. But the larger explanation has more to do with Penny’s attitude throughout all her crises, which was very different from the modeling I received as a child.

Penny not only kept “living life,” as she counsels us, but she also kept on loving, playing, and trusting.

When bad things happen, it’s not so easy for us as humans to keep on loving, playing, and trusting. This, I suppose, can be a downside of all that critical thinking we’re given. Unlike our canine companions, it takes years and conscious effort for us to undo our early lessons.

Sometimes, that takes a lifetime.

I hope, as I’m sure Penny does as well, that her life lessons can help us with that un-doing. My wish, for myself and others, is that we can really take in Penny’s lessons, keeping our hearts and minds open as we make our way through life. Then, we’ll have our own wisdom to share when our time comes.